I wanted something profound to say…but my heart and my words are still.

So then Lord let my hands and my mouth be still.

Don’t let me move or speak without You.

With nothing greater to say, I will simply state I love You.

And let all within me rest in the fact that You love me back.

holy experience

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My day was full of stress. Everything at work is a priority and has to be done yesterday. The ride home was my husband trying to ask me questions about my day and me fending off exhaustion and pretending to be interested in the conversation. All I wanted was to go home and climb into bed. He makes the suggestion that we go to Pigeon Forge and walk around.

This was definitely not what I had in mind, but I heard myself saying, “Sure if you want to.”

We stopped at the house so everyone could change and get a quick bite to eat. In the bedroom I’m irritated, aggravated at a little thing he said. I’m fighting with the Lord and making sure He knows what has occurred. The Lord says gently, “What does My Word say to do when others use you, or persecute you?” (Just to be clear, I wasn’t being persecuted by any stretch of the imagination…but I was feeling a bit underappreciated…a bit…used maybe)

I began to pray for my husband. And I began to see him in a different light. I began to look at things from his point of view and I began earnestly from my heart to pray for God to grant him joy, and peace for the evening.

In short…the Lord stopped my evil tongue from ruining what was destined to be a great evening with the family.

Take a look…

The car show was unexpected. Even more was my joy at the end of a trying day. It was more than sixty seconds, but I’m hoping you’ll understand.

*sigh* Thank You Father.

Yesterday was lovely.  Worship was full of glory and the sermon was full of hope.  The weather was perfect and my son and I made fried chicken for lunch with mashed potatos.

It was a beautiful day.

So why am I so blah today?  Why no passionate feelings of thankfulness for the wonderful weekend I was blessed with?  Who knows?  Who cares?

I might not be overcome with feelings of gratitude, but I am thankful.  I don’t think that my feelings should get in the way of giving thanks for all the glories and blessings God so generously lavished on me and my family the past two days. I am quite literally stuffed with God’s blessings.

So move aside blahs…here comes the praise…

21.  The Presence

22.  The ability to be thankful even if I don’t feel like it.

23.  My son’s laughter

24.  Sunshine

25.  Fried chicken

26.  Naps after sunday dinner

27. Laughing with my husband about stupid things

28.  Really great sermons

29.  My pastor

30.  Life in general

Are you feeling the blahs today?  Monday blues?  Begin to set your mind on things above and give thanks.  Read Philippians 4:8.

Be blessed because you ARE blessed!

holy experience

I have heard the word “redeemed,” read the word “redeemed,” and sung the word “redeemed” probably hundreds if not thousands of times since I began this walk with Christ.

I’ve done all that, but I hadn’t really thought about what the word means until last night at our women’s bible study. We’ve been working on Beth Moore’s study on Inheritance and last night we touched on how Christ has thoroughly redeemed us, stinky pasts and all.

For some reason…it hit me last night. I finally began to understand why I no longer need to be ashamed of my past.

BECAUSE JESUS HAS REDEEMED IT.  ALL OF IT.

Webster’s dictionary defines the word “redeem” in this way:

1 a : to buy back : repurchase b : to get or win back
2 : to free from what distresses or harms: as a : to free from captivity by payment of ransom b : to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental c : to release from blame or debt : clear d : to free from the consequences of sin
3 : to change for the better : reform
4 : repair, restore
5 a : to free from a lien by payment of an amount secured thereby b (1) : to remove the obligation of by payment <the United States Treasury redeems savings bonds on demand> (2) : to exchange for something of value <redeem trading stamps> c : to make good : fulfill
6 a : to atone for : expiate <redeem an error> b (1) : to offset the bad effect of (2) : to make worthwhile : retrieve

The very last definition got me..”to make worthwhile.”

Romans 8:28 NASB ~ And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

My past, all the pain that was forced upon me and all the pain that I caused for myself by my choices…somehow, someway God is causing ALL OF IT to work for my good, because of the miraculous work done by Jesus on the cross.

So I stand today, unashamed; not as though I’ve never done anything shameful, but as one who has been redeemed, bought back, atoned for, freed from every distressing or harmful thing, ransomed, extricated from every detrimental thing, released from blame, cleared, changed for the better, repaired, restored, freed from indebtedness, made good, and made worthwhile.

What can we say about this beautiful Saviour?

My heart has searched for words

But they are lost in the splendor of His Grace

Overwhelmed by the majesty of  His glorious face

All that I can do

Is lift my hands

With heartfelt, soul-deep

Awestruck thank-yous

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,

 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,

 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.

 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

 For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name,

 so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

 and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

You did not think twice about being encapsuled in clay, limited by humanity.  All God, yet all man.  Master of all, yet Servant to all.

Teach me oh God, how to be a servant. 

 

 

holy experience

She…is the spitting image of him.

She…needs craves his love.

I love that he gives it to her, easily.

I love that she lets him.

Sixty seconds that I almost missed if it hadn’t been for sweet Jenny.

This idea of listing our blessings is new to me.  I stumbled upon Ann Voskamp’s blog and was immediately humbled.  I had lost my joy.  Her simple instructions reminded me of what was wrong in my life.

My attitude.  I was ungrateful.  So, on this day, the day following the Day of Days…it seemed appropriate to begin to change my attitude from one of grumbling to one of humility and gratitude.

So I begin…Thank You Father for…

1. Life

2. A Holy Experience

3. Ears to hear

4. Eyes to see

5. A heart to receive Your Truth

6.  Birdsong

7. Hyacinth

8. Spring

9. Beautiful days that seemingly have no end

10. Family

11. My job

12. My church

13. Worship songs

14. Good morning hugs

15. Good night kisses

16. Laughter

17. Flip flops

18. The color green

19.  Toothpaste

20.  Warm blankets
holy experience

Your mercy overwhelms me

Your grace overtakes me

Your love overshadows me

And I will never be the same

Your joy sustains me

Your hands re-make me

Your face amazes me

And I will never be the same

Hallelujah to the Lamb

Hallelujah to the Great I Am

All glory to the One who died

So that I would never be the same

My day was almost done.  My brain was fried from looking over contracts and ledgers all day and I was pretty much in the home stretch, so I was doing a little net surfing for the last few minutes as I waited on 5:00 to arrive.

The phone rings.  My son is on the other line, sobbing and nearly incoherent.  He tells me he’s been beat  up by two other boys and he wants to move in with my parents.

Two things hit me at once.  Fear and rage.

Fear that he’s seriously hurt, rage that I can’t get to my child immediately. 

I tell him to please calm down and tell me if he’s hurt.  He lets me know he is ok but that he still wants to move.  I hear his throat working, he’s trying hard to get himself under control.  He is a man-boy.  Fifteen years old and these tears in front of his mother are shredding what few ounces of dignity he has left.

Fear and rage strike again.

Fear that this cowardly attack will somehow permanently damage the precious soul within.  Rage that someone laid a hand in violence on my child. Fear that I won’t be able to control the fire-breathing monster that is now threatening to consume me.  Rage that I would even care about trying to control it.

A still small voice breaks through the gathering maelstrom…

If you are ok…he will be ok,” He lovingly, achingly whispers.

Calm. Desperate, I fight for it.  I realize, this, this spirit arena…this is where the true battle for my son resides.

Clear and calm and resolute, I comfort my son through the phone lines.  I assure him that we will work through this together and that together, we will be ok.

Clear and calm and resolute I hear the still small voice say, “Yes…yes…yes.”

Scorched earth

Tormenting thirst

This is my heart

Fingers searching

Mind working

Desperate for Your Word

Rending, ripping

Crushing, dripping

I am cleansed

I drown once more in Grace

holy experience