This was not an easy week-end for us.  Financially, things have been stressful and we came to a point these past two days where we absolutely did not know where the money was going to come from.  My husband was especially worried.

I think it’s one thing for me to worry, but I get really afraid when I see my husband worry.  I see him as my rock, my strength, my…covering.  And he is.  But he is not my God.  To put the burden on him alone to be my everything is wrong.  He can’t possibly live up to my needs, especially when most of the time I myself cannot put my finger on what my needs are.

So, this weekend I purposed in my heart not to allow fear to enter into my mind.  For my husband, I decided to be calm and to place my hope and trust in God instead of him.

Instead of wringing my hands, I opened them and lifted them in surrender to God.

Instead of expecting my husband to lift me up, I lifted him up.

Instead of stirring my husband’s worry with my anxiety, I reminded him that God is faithful.

Instead of complaining, I prayed.

Instead of laying blame at my feet or his, I gave thanks.

Instead of quarreling, I laughed and delighted in the touch of his hands as we prayed together.

I physically felt the tension and the burden leave my shoulders and my heart.  I had no idea how God would come through, but I knew that He would.   Sunday morning we went to church and oh, his arms as they drew me close, heads down while we prayed, not separated by our fear, but united in love and faith.

I admit I was not perfect…there were times of weakness.  But when I stumbled, I didn’t stay down.  I got back up again and continued to lay this burden on Jesus.  And this morning, I was able to call my husband to give him the happy news that God had indeed, come through for us again.

So today…I give thanks for

31.  Instead of’s

32.  God’s neverending and never changing faithfulness

33.  The opportunity to point to Jesus and tell my husband, “I told you so.”  In a good way of course. 🙂

34.  Hearing the wonder renewed in his voice

35.  His laughter

36.  Watching God tenderly display His love for my beloved

37.  Grocery store sales

38.  My job

39.  Intimate moments when he whispers, “I love you.”

40.  Marriage

41.  God’s ability to make us stronger through trial

42.  God’s ability to draw us closer to Him and to each other through struggles

43.  The deep and fathomless ocean of forgiveness

44.  Music

45.  Skype

46.  Hugs from my sixteen year-old son

47.  Coming home to dishes washed, laundry folded, without needing to ask

48.  Seeing the first signs of daffodils poking up through the ground

49.  My sisters at Foothills Worship Center

50.  My sisters at Nehemiah Church