Prologue

She couldn’t have explained out loud why it was that every time she happened to take notice of the sky, or a cloud, or a tree that her soul was somehow able to breathe better.  She just knew it happened.  It was as though she walked around all day with her insides screwed up tighter than a drum, but when she stopped and took notice of God’s good earth, everything within her would sigh and loosen and she could breathe.

Maybe she got that way because when she looked at nature, she instinctively knew that she was looking at something that had not been created by any sort of cosmic accident, but by the Almighty.  Somehow seeing His handiwork all around her gave her peace.  But she couldn’t have articulated that.

She stood there now, in the small back yard staring silently up at the star-studded sky.  She felt quite sure that there was nothing as pure and holy in all the world as the sight of the Texas sky at night.  Not even her native East Tennessee mountains.  

Knoxville was as lush and green as El Paso was brown and arid.  But she had to admit, what El Paso lacked during the day, it sure made up for at night.

A small pang went through her as she thought of home.  She missed being able to run barefoot through the sprinklers.  She missed watching fireflies light up the trees and being lulled to sleep each night by the ciccadas.  Most of all, she missed her grandparents.  She scuffed her sneakers against the dry crackly grass and swallowed the lump of homesickness that began to burn in her throat.

Her daddy was in the Army, and they’d just recently been stationed in Ft. Bliss.  This was the third time in her short lifespan that her family had moved and the third time she and her brothers had been put in new schools in the middle of the year.  Painfully shy, she’d always found it hard to make friends, but trying to do so after lunchroom alliances had been formed made it almost impossible.  Still, she’d always managed to find a few kindred spirits with whom she could trade lunches with and play with at recess, but the girls at Hughey Elementary were operating at whole new level of schoolyard cruelty.  

She’d attempted to make friends, but one look at her thrift store clothes, her crooked teeth and her lily-white skin had sealed her doom and they hated her immediately.  They called her strange names in Spanish and laughed out loud at her because she couldn’t understand what they were saying.    They pointed at her clothes and they held their noses as she walked past, acting as though she were emitting horrendous BO.  The boys were worse.  Her body was developing early and it seemed sometimes as if the hallways were made only of hands that were constantly poking, grabbing, touching.  It was only here, in this tiny backyard covered by the lavish velvet blackness that she could find any rest.

Mutely, she looked again at the panorama above her.  As her eyes drank in the grandeur of it, she could sense the scars from the day beginning to heal.  She allowed herself to talk to God even though she knew He was busy and probably wouldn’t want to talk to a loser like her anyway.

“Thank You for the sky,” she whispered.  “Good job.”

Suddenly the awe of that moment welled up within her and threatened to consume her eleven-year old soul.  She didn’t know what to do with the immensity of it.  For reasons unknown, she wanted to praise God in another language.  English seemed too small, too gutteral for the beauty that was overflowing all around her.  Feeling slightly foolish, she looked around her to make sure her younger brothers were no where around.  She didn’t want them telling on her for acting like a crazy person. 

Satisfied that she was alone and out of earshot, she opened her mouth and allowed a soft string of meaningless syllables to come out.  She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time because as she spoke, there was a moment, a second, that she knew through and through that God could hear and understand her words.  It seemed as if they were old friends from long ago, and she was not alone.

With a lighter and happier heart, she turned to go back inside the house.

It would be ten years before she spoke to God again.

The Road

I know some people who have had their lives mapped out from the get-go and they have never, ever deviated from The Plan. 

I’ve never been that dedicated.

I know some people who were positive from the moment of conception that when they grew up they were going to be a lawyer or doctor.   Then, after having achieved that goal, they realized that they hated their chosen profession.  And rather than cling to a dead dream, they changed course.

I’ve never had that much courage. 

I know some, who no matter how hard they try, something always knocks them off their chosen path.  I’ve seen them hit so hard with outside circumstances that it looked like they might not make it.  Wrong.

I’ve never had that much resilience.

I’ve seen some people take roads that were completely destructive to them and their families, and after receiving God’s grace…I’ve watched them go back down that same road to apologize and ask forgiveness of everyone they hurt along the way.

I’ve never had that much humility.

I’m doing an online bible study right now called What Happens When Women Say Yes To God by Lysa Terkeurst.  We’re currently on chapter 3 and I can see a new road looming up before me.  The road of radical obedience. 

Radical obedience is something that requires all the traits listed above. Again, let me reiterate that my level of each is as follows:

Dedication: Nil.

Courage: Nada.

Resilience: Zero.

Humility: El zippo.

Still, I hear a persistent Call reverbating throughout the depths of me. 

“Come out Beloved and be separate.”

Oh boy. Here I come Lord.  You know it’s not gonna be pretty.  Hold my hand.  Carry me.  Grant me Your grace, strength, courage, dedication, humility and love as I step out on this unfamiliar path.  Most of all, no matter what happens, keep me on the road. Amen.

 

Promises, promises

I love Springtime.  Spring reminds me of how faithful God is to fulfill His promises.

“If you remove the yoke from your midst,

The pointing finger, and speaking wickedness, 

And if you give yourself to the hungry,

And satisfy the desire of the afflicted,”

“Then your light will rise in darkness, 

And your gloom will become like midday.

And the Lord will continually guide you,

And satisfy your desire in scorched places,

And give strength to your bones;”

“And you will be like a watered garden,

Like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.” Isaiah 58:9-11 NASB

I Moved!

Hey…check me out over at WordPress!

Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor do I have any type of degree in theology.
To find out more about God and His son Jesus, read your Bible.

Blogger, I’m Breaking Up With You

*sigh*

Look, please don’t cry ok?  You’ll find someone else who can post much better content than I can.  Someone who can figure out how to post images the way they want and where they want.  It’ll be great.  Honestly…it’s not you…it’s me.

So…can I have my stuff back?  Please?

(Any who can help me with importing my older posts from Blogger would be greatly appreciated!)

Uh, If You Don’t Believe in Female Preachers…Look Away

Well hi there.  It’s been a while.  I could go into this long drawn out story about where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing, but I think I’ll leave that for some other time.  Suffice it to say, I stopped blogging because I didn’t think I had anything to talk about that was worth anything.  

 

That’s about to change. 

I had forgotten the reason I started this blog.  It wasn’t supposed to be about me, it was supposed to be about Jesus Christ and my day to day efforts to walk where He walked and do what He did.  But I got caught up in trying to be “relevant” and “witty.”  Which brings me to the point of today’s post.

Today I was reading a bio about someone who works for a major Christian song writing machine/company.  In the bio, the person is saying that their vision is to see the church embrace culture and become a leader in creating. 

To be honest, at first I was like, “Yeah, cool.”  But the phrase, “embrace culture” was bothering me.  I wondered, “Embrace whose culture? America’s? God’s? Dairy Queen’s?”  As I pondered this, other questions began to arise.  Why would The Church need to embrace culture?  Aren’t we to be the “Called Out Ones?”  Aren’t we supposed to be separate?  Why would anyone think that we need to embrace culture unless we think that The Church is no longer relevant?

Point taken.  Unfortunately, a lot of churches have become little more than social clubs these days.  We all know this and what’s worse, the world knows it.  From top to bottom, many of us have become so lukewarm that we have rendered ourselves and by extension Christ, as useless and of no effect on the people around us.  Brothers and sisters this is truly a huge concern and blight on The Church, but we can’t fix the problem by embracing culture.  Embracing culture is what has gotten us into trouble in the first place.

If we want to be effective, we must first in our own lives yield wholly to Christ and Him alone.  We must passionately pursue and develop a relationship with Him.  If we “seek first the Kingdom of God” doesn’t the Bible say that everything else will fall into place?

In I Corinthians, Paul warns of the dangers of trying to win others to Christ with “clever words” and “fleshly wisdom.”  In 1 Corinthians 1:17 he says, “For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not in cleverness of speech, that the cross of Christ should not be made void.”NASB

It is utter foolishness for Christians to try to convince the lost that Christ is who He says He is with our “relevance.”  In fact, Paul states that doing so actually makes what Christ did on the cross void.  What we need to do as The Church is embrace the cross not culture.  We need to make ourselves available to be used of Christ through radical obedience and submission to Him in all things.  When we do that, the natural overflow of that process is that Christ then becomes raised up in us, at which point He and He alone will draw all men to Himself.  The world is dying and in need of a Saviour, not a song and dance or the “7 Keys to Prosperity” manual.  We hold the gateway to eternal life hostage by our desire for man’s approval and our fear of being mocked as outdated or foolish.  Friend, the Bible says that the foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of men.  We must return to Him if we are to be of any use, of any “relevance” to this world. 

Oh God, in my own life, forgive me for relying on my own wisdom when talking to others about You.  I repent and ask you to tear down anything in me that is not of You.  Father be merciful to us and send Godly conviction and repentance to Your people.  Show us how to love You the way You want to be loved.  In Jesus’ name Amen.

Thank you for reading.  I hope that this post stirs your heart and prompts you to think of Christ and His desire to be our all. 

Love Without Warning

I wonder…

I wonder if she knew when she woke up that morning that her life would be changed forever.

I wonder if she understood that by the end of that day, she would literally be dragged from the darkness and thrust into the Light.

Her name is unknown, as is her background. All we really know about her is that she was caught in the act of adultery and has become one of the most famous of the Bible’s poster children for grace. Many sermons (possibly in the millions) have been preached about the love that Jesus bestowed on her that day. She is probably the most single shining (or should I say glaring?) example of the difference between religion and relationship.

But still I wonder…

Did she have a family? Was she a single working mom trying to keep food on the table? Or was she a bored suburban housewife looking for a little action? Where was the man she was caught with (assuming it was indeed a man)? What was she thinking as she was being dragged through the streets? Was she crying? Was she screaming in protest? Did she beg for mercy? Moreover I wonder…was she looking for grace or did she just get clobbered with it?

Most people come to Jesus because their hearts have been convicted after hearing a sermon, or they’ve been scared to death by a “hellfire and brimstone” message, or they’ve just been overcome by His love. This woman doesn’t seem to have been given an option. I mean, the Bible does say she was “caught in the act.” It doesn’t seem as though she had any thought of seeking redemption. If anything I think this story is another example of just how little we have to do with the act of being redeemed. (I don’t suggest running out and dragging your lost loved one down to the altar, but after reading about this woman it is tempting, no?)

Had it been me (and on more than one occasion it has been…let’s face it…we all sin) I would have been crying out for mercy that my life would be spared. But that’s probably as far as I would have thought to ask. I highly doubt I would have expected anything more than to leave the temple with my life. I truly think that that’s what this woman was doing as well. Begging for her life, and not really understanding what that meant.

I wonder…

How many of us have been putting a limit on Mercy by only wanting to escape hell and have no thought of the abundant life that Jesus died to give us?

Whatever was going on in the woman’s mind that day, it’s obvious she wasn’t expecting to receive any sort of pardon. There she is… all the rocks have fallen to the ground, people are leaving, and she’s still standing there, awaiting Jesus’ judgement.

I wonder…

How many of us are still standing there before Him…waiting for a death sentence that will never be given?

I wonder…

God…I wonder at You. We run from You, scream out Your name in profanity, we deny Your existence and worship ourselves. Yet still…Your love is relentless, and it finds us even when we aren’t looking for it. Father clobber me with grace. Keep me in wonder, and never…ever…let me go.

Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor do I have any type of degree in theology.
To find out more about God and His son Jesus, read your Bible.

Venti Mocha With A Double Shot No Whip, Please.

Latte Christians beware: this blog is not for you. If you like the leche…stay away from my pal Scott.

Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor do I have any type of degree in theology.
To find out more about God and His son Jesus, read your Bible.

Whom Shall I Trust?

In light of a recent discussions about the “Emerging Church” and other doctrinal/theological issues, I feel prompted to ask this question.

When it comes to the Bible, whom shall I trust?

When we come down to brass tacks, all of us read the Bible and interpret it according to our understanding of what it says. Which basically means that there are literally millions of interpretations floating around out there.

Now, I am by no means a biblical scholar, but truly…who has the final say on who is interpreting scripture properly and who is not? If we say scripture has the final say…well I would agree. Except we go back into the whole “whose interpretation of what scripture says is correct?” circle.

The reason I ask is because I get disturbed when people start freely throwing around the words “heretic” and “blasphemy” everytime something or someone different comes along. (I would like to categorically state that this post is not an attack against anyone…it is merely my own observation and thoughts, so please don’t send me hate mail.) It seems to me that a certain man called Jesus was also accused of heresy and blasphemy by the religious elite of His day and look what good it did them.

Let me reiterate. Jesus did not look like, talk like, or act like the Messiah that the Pharisees and Sadducees “interpreted” from the Torah. Because Jesus did not line up with their “doctrines” or with who they thought He should be, they rejected Him as a blasphemer. They called The Word a heretic. How crazy is that???

I’ll end my thoughts with this. I believe we must guard and protect our faith through careful study of the scripture. (Study is not all there is to it, but that’s for another post) However we must keep in mind that God cannot be boxed in. Solomon’s temple, as glorious as it was, could not even contain the train of God’s robe. If someone is being ministered to, and their life is being changed from “glory to glory” who are we to put a stop to it simply because the method doesn’t fit into our idea of “religion?”

I’ll just let ya’ll think on that for a while.

Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor do I have any type of degree in theology.
To find out more about God and His son Jesus, read your Bible.

He Loves Us

Today, as I was walking across campus, I looked and really noticed all the kids that were rushing past me.

Some were talking on cell phones.

Some were walking and talking with friends.

Some were walking alone and trying not to look like it bothered them.

There were the typical sorority girls with blonde hair, cute jeans, cute shoes, cute everything.

There were the passionate, artsy people with their dark clothes, their long scarves, long cigarettes and wild hair.

There were the non-traditional students, serious and all-business.

Then there were some who looked like they wanted to be anywhere but here.

One thought kept going through my head as I looked at all these wonderful, colorful people. It’s a line from a song I just “discovered.” It just simply says this:

He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. God loves us. All of us. No matter where your coolness factor may be on the human scale, whether you’re at the top or a bottom feeder like myself…He loves us. This song has really rent my heart in two and reminded me of who I am, and who God is. I actually have the video of Kim Walker singing this song in my sidebar. It’s the very first one and I highly, highly encourage you to take a listen.

Because if anyone had asked me 10 years ago, “Do you know that God loves you?” I would have looked at them with this “Well, DUH” look on my face and said “Yes. I do know that God loves me. I mean, God is love right??? Isn’t that His job? To love me?”

Oh, but I had no idea.

In fact, my understanding was so darkened, that I was no where near being in the same universe as the truth of His love for me. See, as a whole, we are so anesthetized to the word love that we have almost completely lost its meaning. I might say “I love my husband” and then turn around and with the next breath say, “I love pizza.”

Love has become too small a word.

I’m happy and eternally grateful to say that the “eyes of my understanding” are slowly but surely being opened more and more each day to the most jaw-dropping revelation ever given to a human being. God’s love, what love really is, is not small. I can run as hard and as fast as I can to the Throne of Grace and without fear of rejection climb on up into my Father’s lap and rest. Because His love is large and active and passionate and loud and you wanna know something else??? It still burns as brightly and intensely as it ever has. For you.

For you.

It has never once dimmed, diminished or become less because you didn’t get the house clean today, or because you yelled at the kids and had mean thoughts about your spouse. It doesn’t go away because you failed a test and lost your 4.0 GPA, or if you disappointed your parents and decided not to go to school at all. Know why??? Because God’s decision to love us is not tied to us or our actions in any way.

He loves us because He is Great and Mighty and Worthy to be Praised.

He loves us because of the Greatness of His Name. He loves us because He has decided to do so, and no matter what you do, or how you respond, you cannot make God stop loving you. He will love you all the way into hell if that is your desire.

Oh man, stop struggling. Stop fighting with it. There’s nothing you can do about it. God loves you. So what are you afraid of? Jump in, and let the “sea of His grace” overtake you.

If you’d like to know more about God’s love, read the gospel of John. If you’d like to know more about the song Kim Walker is singing and the amazing story behind it, go here.

Disclaimer: I am not a theologian, nor do I have any type of degree in theology.
To find out more about God and His son Jesus, read your Bible.